The Ride Across Lake Constance and Other Plays Read online

(Reaches for the cigar box. He lifts it but cannot hold on to it so that it falls to the floor.) So has my hand. (GEORGE carefully walks up to JANNINGS, stops next to him. Both of them glance at each other for the first time, then look away again. GEORGE leans against the edge of the table, now sits down on it. The cigar box is lying on the floor between them. Both look at it. JANNINGS turns his head toward GEORGE. GEORGE slides of the table. JANNINGS points at the cigar box. GEORGE misunderstands the gesture and looks as if there was something to see on the box. JANNINGS agrees to the misunderstanding and now points as if he really wanted to point out something.) That blue sky you see on the label, my dear fellow, it really exists there.

  GEORGE

  (Bends down to the cigar box, takes it, looks at it.) You’re right! (He puts the box back on the floor and straightens up.)

  JANNINGS

  You’re standing …

  GEORGE

  (Interrupts him.) I can also sit down. (He sits down in the fauteuil with the smaller footstool and makes himself comfortable .) What did you want to say?

  JANNINGS

  “You’re standing just now: would you be kind enough to hand me the cigar box from the floor?”

  (Pause.)

  GEORGE

  You were dreaming?

  JANNINGS

  When the nights were especially long, in winter.

  GEORGE

  You must be dreaming.

  JANNINGS

  Once, on a winter evening, I was sitting with someone in a restaurant. As I said, it was evening, we sat by the window and were talking about a corpse; about a suicide who had leaped into the river. Outside, it rained. We held the menus in our hands. “Don’t look to the right!” (GEORGE quickly looks to the left, then to the right.) shouted the person opposite me. I looked to the right: but there was no corpse. Besides, my friend had meant I should not look on the right page of the menu because that was where the prices were marked. (Pause.) How do you like the story?

  GEORGE

  So it was only a story?

  (Pause.)

  JANNINGS

  When one tells it, it seems like that to oneself.

  GEORGE

  Like a story? (JANNINGS nods. Pause. Then he slowly shakes his hedd.) So you’re wrong after all. Then it’s true what you told me?

  JANNINGS

  I’m just wondering.

  (Pause.)

  GEORGE

  And how did it go on?

  JANNINGS

  We ordered kidneys flambé.

  GEORGE

  And you got them?

  JANNINGS

  Of course.

  GEORGE

  And asked for the check and got it?

  JANNINGS

  Naturally.

  GEORGE

  And asked for the coats and got them?

  JANNINGS

  Why the coats?

  GEORGE

  Because it was a winter evening.

  JANNINGS

  (Relieved) Of course.

  GEORGE

  And then?

  JANNINGS

  We went home.

  (Both laugh with relief. Pause.)

  GEORGE

  Only one thing I don’t understand. Of what significance is the winter evening to the story? There was no need to mention it, was there? (JANNINGS closes his eyes and thinks.) Are you asleep?

  JANNINGS

  (Opens his eyes.) Yes, that was it! You asked me whether I was dreaming and I told you how long I sleep during winter nights and that I then begin to dream toward morning, and as an example I wanted to tell you a dream that might occur during a winter night.

  GEORGE

  Might occur?

  JANNINGS

  I invented the dream. As I said, it was only an example. The sort of thing that goes through one’s head … As I said—a story …

  GEORGE

  But the kidneys flambé?

  JANNINGS

  Have you ever had kidneys flambé?

  GEORGE

  No. Not that I know.

  JANNINGS

  If you don’t know, then you haven’t had them.

  GEORGE

  No.

  JANNINGS

  You’re disagreeing with me?

  GEORGE

  Yes, that is: no. That is: yes, I agree with you.

  JANNINGS

  In other words, when you mention kidneys flambé, you talk about something you know nothing about.

  GEORGE

  That’s what I wanted to say.

  JANNINGS

  And about something one doesn’t know, one shouldn’t talk, isn’t that so?

  GEORGE

  Indeed.

  (JANNING makes the appropriate gesture with his hand, turning up his palm in the process. GEORGE stares at it, and under the impression that GEORGE has found something on the palm JANNINGS leaves it like that. The hand now looks as if it is waiting for something; say, for the cigar box. After what has been said just now the hand has the effect of an invitation, so that GEORGE bends down and puts the box in JANNINGS’ s hand.

  A brief pause, as if JANNINGS had expected something else. Then he takes the box with his other hand and puts it on his knee. He looks at his hand, which is still extended.)

  JANNINGS

  That’s not what I meant to say with that. It just seemed to me that you had noticed something on my hand. (He opens the box top with his other hand and offers the box to GEORGE, who looks inside.) Take one.

  (GEORGE quickly takes a cigar. JANNINGS takes one too. GEORGE takes the box from JANNINGS and puts it back on the table. Each lights his own cigar. Both lean back and smoke.)

  GEORGE

  Haven’t you noticed anything?

  JANNINGS

  Speak. (Pause.) Please, go ahead and speak.

  GEORGE

  Didn’t you notice how silly everything suddenly became when we began to talk about kidneys flambé? No, not so much suddenly as gradually, the more often we mentioned the kidneys flambé. Kidneys flambé, kidneys flambé, kidneys flambé! And didn’t it strike you why the kidneys flambé gradually made everything so hair-raisingly silly?

  (Pause.)

  JANNINGS

  Speak.

  GEORGE

  Because we spoke about something that wasn’t visible at the time. Because we mentioned something that wasn’t there at the time! And do you know how I happened to notice this?

  (Pause.)

  JANNINGS

  Speak.

  GEORGE

  When you made that motion with your hand two minutes ago—

  JANNINGS

  (Interrupts him.) Two minutes have passed since then?

  GEORGE

  It may also have been earlier. In any case—what was I about to say?

  JANNINGS

  When I made that motion with my hand …

  GEORGE

  When you made that motion with your hand, I suddenly noticed the rings on your fingers and thought to myself: ah, rings! Look at that, rings! Indeed: rings! And then I saw the rings again, and when what I thought and what I saw coincided so magically, I was so happy for a moment that I couldn’t help but put the cigar box in your hand. And only then I noticed how ridiculous I had seemed to myself speaking all that time about kidneys flambé! I wasn’t even myself any more, my hairs rose on end when I spoke about them. And only when I saw the rings and thought: ah, the rings! and then cast a second glance at the rings, then it seemed to me that I was no longer confused.

  JANNINGS

  And I felt you were handing me the box voluntarily.

  GEORGE

  Do you understand me?

  JANNINGS

  From a human point of view, yes.

  GEORGE

  Take a look around. (They take a look around the room.) Car. (They hesitate a little, continue looking around the room.) Cattle prod. (They hesitate, continue looking around the room.) Bloodhounds. (They look around the room, hesitate .) Swollen bellies. (Only JANNINGS
looks around the room, hesitates.) Trigger button.

  JANNINGS

  (Quickly looks at GEORGE.) You’re right, let’s talk about my rings!

  GEORGE

  There’s nothing left to say about the rings. (JANNINGS remains silent.) It’s meaningless.

  JANNINGS

  I?

  GEORGE

  Your rings.

  JANNINGS

  And?

  GEORGE

  (Irritated) “And” what?

  JANNINGS

  (Irritated) And? (Pause. The pause becomes increasingly laden with animosity. Both smoke. When they notice that they are simultaneously drawing on their cigars, they stop and hold their breath. When one of them wants to blow out smoke, he notices that the other is just about to exhale and he hesitates; only then does he emit the smoke from his mouth. JANNINGS suddenly, in a very friendly manner) And if they were your rings?

  GEORGE

  (Suddenly looks at him in a very friendly manner.) But they are yours! (Pause. They hardly move. The pause becomes increasingly laden with animosity.) But they’re your rings? (Suddenly JANNINGS pulls the rings from his fingers. GEORGE understands, bends forward, spreading his fingers apart. JANNINGS places the rings on the table. GEORGE slips them easily and as though routinely, almost without looking, on his fingers. He regards his hand.) As if they were made for me! (Pause.) As if they had always belonged to me! (Pause.) They were made for me! (Pause.) And they have always belonged to me! (He holds the rings up to the light so that they sparkle. He caresses them and touches each individually with his lips. He plays: points with the ringless hand at something, then points with the ringed hand at the same thing; places the ringless hand on his heart, then places the ringed hand on it; waves someone toward him with a ringless finger, then with a ringed one; threatens someone with a naked finger, then with a ringed one. He is intoxicated by the idea of ownership.) I can’t even imagine my hand without rings any more! I can’t it me—I can’t myself—me myself —myself me—I can’t myself me—I simply can’t imagine myself without rings any more! Can you imagine me without rings? (JANNINGS makes no reply. GEORGE sets out to make a speech.) Expensive rings! Just as you, who are round, know no beginning and no end, in the same way—(He hesitates and begins once more.) And just as you transform the light that strikes you and are changed yourselves by the light, in the same way—(He hesitates. Pause.) In any cause—you elicit similes from me. Since I own you, you mean something to me. (Pause.) To wear rings on every finger—what does that mean? Wealth? Early death? To take care while climbing ladders? Job problems? Watch out, danger!?

  (Pause.)

  JANNINGS

  I’ve never dreamed of rings so far.

  GEORGE

  Because you never owned any.

  (Pause.)

  JANNINGS

  On the contrary, because I owned some. (Pause.) And they never elicit similes from me.

  GEORGE

  Because they weren’t enough for you.

  (Pause.)

  JANNINGS

  On the contrary, because they were enough for me.

  (Pause.)

  GEORGE

  Just as …

  JANNINGS

  What do you mean, “Just—as”?

  GEORGE

  Bide your time! (He begins once more.) Just as there are born losers, born troublemakers, and born criminals …

  JANNINGS

  Who says they exist?

  GEORGE

  I do!

  JANNINGS

  That doesn’t prove anything.

  (Pause.)

  GEORGE

  Have you ever heard people talk about a “born loser”?

  JANNINGS

  Frequently.

  GEORGE

  And have you ever heard the expression “born troublemaker”?

  JANNINGS

  Indeed.

  GEORGE

  And the expression “born criminal”?

  JANNINGS

  Of course.

  GEORGE

  But the expression “a scurrying snake”—that you have heard quite frequently?

  JANNINGS

  No, never.

  GEORGE

  And have you ever heard of a “fiery Eskimo”?

  JANNINGS

  Not that I know.

  GEORGE

  If you don’t know it, then you haven’t heard of it either. But the expression “a flying ship”—that you have heard?

  JANNINGS

  At most in a fairy tale.

  GEORGE

  But scurrying snakes exist?

  JANNINGS

  Of course not.

  GEORGE

  But fiery Eskimos—they exist?

  JANNINGS

  I can’t imagine it.

  GEORGE

  But flying ships exist?

  JANNINGS

  At most in a dream.

  GEORGE

  Not in reality?

  JANNINGS

  Not in reality.

  (Pause.)

  GEORGE

  But born losers?

  JANNINGS

  Consequently, they do exist.

  GEORGE

  And born troublemakers?

  JANNINGS

  They exist.

  GEORGE

  And therefore there are born criminals?

  JANNINGS

  It’s only logical.

  GEORGE

  As I wanted to say at the time …

  JANNINGS

  (Interrupts him.) “At the time”? Has it been that long already?

  GEORGE

  (Hesitates; astonished) Yes, that’s odd! (Then continues rapidly.) Just as there are born losers, born troublemakers, and born criminals, there are (He spreads his fingers.) born owners. Most people as soon as they own something are not themselves any more. They lose their balance and become ridiculous. Estranged from themselves they begin to squint. Bed wetters who stand next to their bed in the morning. (The bed signifies their possession. Or perhaps their shame?) (Brief moment of confusion, then he continues at once.) I, on the other hand, am a born owner: only when I possess something do I become myself …

  JANNINGS

  (Interrupts him.) “Born owner”? I’ve never heard that expression.

  (Pause.)

  GEORGE

  (Suddenly) “Life is a game”—you must have heard people say that? (JANNINGS makes no reply, waits.) And a game has winners and losers, right? (JANNINGS makes no reply.) And those who don’t get anything are the losers, and those who can have everything are the winners, right? (JANNINGS makes no reply, only bends forward, opens his mouth, but not to speak.) And do you know the expression “born winner”?

  (Silence. Suddenly both burst out laughing and slap each other’s thighs. While they are still doing so, a woman appears above left on the staircase. She is beautiful. She is wearing a long dress in which she moves as though it were carrying her. She has appeared noiselessly and has walked down a few steps. She stops in the middle of the left staircase, puts her hand on the bannister, and turns her head a little: it is ELISABETH BERGNER. Her hands are empty, no handbag.